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Throwback with Dr. Mark Goulston, Ep #269

Are you a good listener? In this throwback, Dr. Mark Goulston will probably persuade you otherwise. Did you know that you can talk over, at, to, or with someone? Which one is actually listening—and what should you be doing? Dr. Mark Goulston can help you transform the way you communicate. Listen to this episode of Negotiations Ninja for some of his best communication tips. Be sure to pick up his latest book, “Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone,” to learn even more. 

The 4 Levels of Talking with Someone According to Dr. Mark Goulston, Ep #229

Joe Paranteau’s Sales Secrets, Ep #268

Joe Paranteau has sold over a billion dollars in revenue. He’s been a Sales Director at Microsoft for over 17 years. He’s a dynamic speaker, visionary, and deep thinker. He is also the author of Billion Dollar Sales Secrets: Superstar Selling Tips for all Seasons, which he wrote to fill the gaps he saw in sales training. In this episode of Negotiations Ninja, we share the common areas where people blow their negotiations, the #1 thing that’s wrong with salespeople today, and some of Joe’s sales secrets to help you reach success on either side of the table.

Outline of This Episode

  • [4:04] Where people “blow it” in the sales cycle
  • [6:11] Genuine curiosity lessens sales commission breath
  • [9:00] The six different people in a negotiation
  • [12:32] The magic of changing your physical positioning
  • [20:21] Learning to talk positively about yourself to yourself
  • [23:13] How to stay hungry for success after achieving your goals
  • [25:41] Recognizing non-assertion signs to respond accordingly
  • [31:32] Sell through the close to the win for the customer
  • [35:34] How to connect with Joe online

Where people “blow it” in the sales cycle

Joe emphasizes that people—on either side of the table—blow it because they’re self-absorbed. Most people approach a negotiation thinking about what they want and can win. He points out that you have to shift your mindset.

When customers blow it, they’re thinking about themselves. When they don’t blow it, they research everyone they’re negotiating with and learn about them. Joe had one customer that went to his LinkedIn, found common connections, and called them. He then made them call Joe. They ended up getting a better deal because they were interested in learning about the people they would be negotiating with.

Joe points out that sellers do this as well. If you go into a conversation without knowing and learning about your customer (by looking at their website or LinkedIn), you’ll likely blow it. The number one mistake sellers make is not knowing their customers. You can’t be self-focused. Instead, be curious about who you’re talking to and what they’re trying to achieve.

Genuine curiosity lessens sales commission breath

Joe worked with someone who would stress about his quota and was always wondering where the revenue would come from. When people are stressed, they lose sight of the customer. Joe has had some large quotas and targets in his years in sales. He’s found that whether you have a $1 million, $100 million, or $500 million quota, it’s all the same.

Customers are behind each of them.

You’ll see more success when you connect with your customers, strive to establish a relationship, and lose sight of your metrics. Salespeople need to learn, be curious, and have empathy. That is what keeps the engine firing on all cylinders and leads to sales success.

Sell through the close to the win for the customer

What’s the payoff for the other person? It can’t just be about the contract. A customer may be more concerned about implementing the solution or realizing the benefit of what they’re purchasing. So Joe encourages you that as you go through your negotiation, pause and focus on their position. What are they thinking about?

Let them know what you’ll do to be there for each step of the process after the deal is done. It’s about selling through the close. Sell through to the thing that they value the most in the deal. The win for most businesspeople is full implementation—not just signing a contract like it is for the seller.

Joe has always been fascinated by the questions that people don’t ask. He wants to know what the payoff is for the other person. He wants to know what the other side needs to prove their business case and justify their decision-making. It’s all about making this process successful for the other party.

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with Joe Paranteau

Connect With Mark

Subscribe to Negotiations Ninja

Throwback with Keld Jensen, Ep # 267

In April 2020 we had a great conversation about how the COVID-19 pandemic was impacting negotiation. Now, over 6 months later, the world of negotiation is still evolving. Were Keld’s predictions true? Has the latest and greatest technology available on the market improved the outcomes of negotiations? Check out this throwback to see how far we’ve come in half a year—and learn what still applies to current negotiation strategy. 

The Post-COVID Era of Negotiation with Keld Jensen, Ep #213

Mastering Mindful Negotiation with Gaetan Pellerin, Ep #266

Gaetan Pellerin is the author of a new book all about mindful negotiation. We often talk about planning, preparation, strategy, and tactics, right? But the success of many a negotiation often hinges on mindfulness—not many people talk about that. So what is mindful negotiation? Why should you care? What methodology can you use to be more mindful? Learn more in this episode of Negotiations Ninja!

Outline of This Episode

  • [1:50] Learn more about Gaetan Pellerin
  • [3:33] The concept of mindful negotiation
  • [12:24] Gaetan’s 4 Pillars of mindfulness
  • [18:14] How to deal with bias entering a negotiation
  • [20:12] Managing unexpected emotions in others
  • [22:35] How to connect with Gaetan Pellerin

Gaetan’s fascination with human behavior

Gaetan is fascinated with studying human drive and why we behave the way we do. Emotion? Fear? Desires? He loves helping people get better at what they do and to be more confident. His passion for negotiation led him to write his book, “Mindful NEGOtiation: Becoming More Aware in the Moment, Conquering Your Ego and Getting Everyone What They Really Want.” It’s about understanding the relationship between mindfulness and negotiation situations where your ego can be triggered.

The influence of ego on your actions and reactions

Since Gaetan was young, he recognized that he wanted to be seen, recognized, and appreciated. He wanted to be better than others. After five promotions in three years, he finally got his dream job. But he felt impatient and unhappy in that job. He was let go in 2010 as part of a company reorganization. So he took the time to ask himself why he wasn’t satisfied when he had gotten everything he wanted.

So he started a one-year executive coaching program and became a negotiation consultant. He began to observe people’s actions and reactions while they were negotiating. He had also joined a personal mindfulness group focused on helping him understand why he behaved the way he did. The ego is an unconscious structure that instinctively reacts to external events.

Ego was useful when men hunted animals, and human existence was based on survival instincts. It’s the voice in your head that makes you feel like you need to prove yourself, always be better, and always be liked. The ego is heavily influenced by family, community, the church, etc. Whenever you do something today, your ego pulls from your past experiences to formulate a quick response.

Ego allows emotion to take over

Negotiation is about skill and structure, but one key element is often missing: managing emotion. Your emotions will come out of hiding. You may be afraid of losing a deal or don’t want to be intimidated by the other person. You may be insecure about your competency. You need help but are afraid to ask for it. You want to win.

The language of ego is emotion, and when you are emotional, you demonstrate poor judgment. You lack clarity and may be afraid to speak up for your needs. When you negotiate with other people, they are also emotional. It’s all about managing the emotions of both sides in real-time. The minute a negotiation doesn’t go as planned, you lose the ability to have clarity. When you try to drive a negotiation from a rational and logical perspective, it doesn’t work well. Your survival instinct is already triggered.

Mindful negotiation is the best way to manage emotion

Mindfulness is the best way to manage emotion before it triggers you. Mindfulness is focusing your attention in a compassionate and non-judgmental way toward what’s happening inside yourself. Emotions are always present. Your blood pressure is through the roof, your chest is tightening, etc. but most people aren’t aware of those emotions manifesting.

Mindfulness requires slowing down, cultivating awareness, and being curious. Why are you angry? Why are you scared? Do you feel like you have no power? It’s your ego that tells you that you should be scared. You must focus your attention on your inner world. Ego is a fast-reacting unconscious structure.

But mindfulness helps you slow down and ask, “Is this true?” It takes the situation for what it is. Observing how you’re feeling brings clarity when you’re under stress. It allows you to think more rationally while experiencing emotion in the moment. When you are in the moment, it allows you to pivot and block your external world to be a better negotiator.

People often embrace a misconception of what mindfulness is. It’s simply about focusing on what’s going on inside of you. Gaetan developed a simple yet innovative model that helps negotiators apply mindfulness to themselves—and their counterparts. Learn all about this helpful methodology in the rest of the episode!

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with Gaetan Pellerin

Connect With Mark

Subscribe to Negotiations Ninja

Throwback with Tom Williams, Ep #265

In this throwback, we revisit the all-important question: How do you sell to someone in procurement? According to Tom Williams, you need to understand their mindset to be successful. It’s all about embracing the concept of buyer-centered selling. If you’d love to understand how the mind of a procurement professional ticks, don’t miss this one!

How to Sell to Procurement with Tom Williams, Ep #209 

 

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